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Ex Wife threats going to court over back-pay even though paying?

Mon, 14 May 2012 23:38:23 GMT

So my ex wife is wanting to take me to court over unpaid previous support. I owe some back child support due to being unemployed for a number of months and unable to pay anything. I know she can sue, but does anyone know what the typical outcome is if you cannot pay in full? Jail time? Payment plan? etc...

I am currently paying child support at the full amount since finding employment, does this matter?

Just worried and don't want to go to jail because I am unable at this time to pay in full. Any and all help comes with many thanks from me!

Forum: Child Support

Help please!

Wed, 09 May 2012 02:07:25 GMT

I have a daughter that just turned 13. Her mother and I have been divorced for 7 years and are both remarried. We have joint legal custody with her as the primary care giver. The mother is not contacting me about issues in my daughters life and we are finding out things through Facebook or through the mail. Her spouse was recently investigated for abuse against my daughter. DHS says it is unfounded because daughter changed story. I did not know about it until receiving a letter from DHS six weeks later. Ex and daughter were in a car accident about the same time. I learned about it on Facebook. Ex took 13 year old daughter today and got her nose pierced knowing I am against this. Again, learned about it on Facebook. Ex causes problems with visitation on where I am to pick her up and when I can have her. Daughter is told to not tell me anything when she is at my house. I would like to go to court to ask for primary care. What are my chances and who do I go to. I would like to file in Iowa City

Forum: New Members Thread

Summer parenting time

Tue, 08 May 2012 05:25:04 GMT

I'm sure this has been discussed before, but I couldn't find our exact issue. My husband is given 4 weeks of parenting time during the summer. His ex (never married) does not allow the weeks to be consecutive. My husband has to pick his weeks and let his ex know the weeks he is going to have by May 1. This year one of his weeks falls during the week leading up to his 8 year old daughter's dance recital. There are numerous practices and she lives in another town, about 30 miles away. She has three practices during that week besides the actual dance recital. My husband has bent over backwards trying to adjust the parenting time schedule so that he will not lose time with his daughter, but still allow her to go to her dance recital. With the summer holiday schedule and the ex's vacation schedule the only possible week my husband could switch would mean he would have his daughter two consecutive weeks. The ex absolutely refuses to allow the two consecutive weeks, so my husband told his ex that he would have to stick to the original schedule. Now the ex has sent an email to my husband saying that their daughter HAS to be at all practices and the dance recitals and if he doesn't agree that he will take her to all practices and recital by a certain date, she will not be allowing their daughter to come to our house for that week. Any advice on how to handle this?

Forum: Custody and Visitation

Hawki

Mon, 07 May 2012 18:38:05 GMT

I am ordered to provide insurance for my daughter, the problem is the cost of the policy is outragous. The mother of my child refuses to put her on Hawki stating that the state doesn't care what the cost are, that I have to supply the policy. My income falls in the Hawki guidelines for my daughter to receive Hawki insurance, but I can't apply for it because the child doesn't live with me.

How do others handle this situation?

Forum: New Members Thread

Pro Se asking for Jurisdiction change

Thu, 03 May 2012 16:04:28 GMT

We are broke; to say the least. Tj's costs have gone up, our income has gone down with my husband being discharged from the military after 19 yrs. We have consulted an atty here in Clinton, who is ready to run after we get the case transferred to Iowa from IL. We don't have any more money to pay anymore darn atty's, and the one we have won't petition for the modification of custody to have the case moved, she says the one we have been talking to here in Iowa needs to do it. Is this something we absolutely SHOULD NOT try on our own? The child lives here, his support is here, his therapists (all 4 of them) are here, his schooling is here, and his doctor's are here. If we go any further, we will have to do this pro se. This weekend is coming up, I don't have the money to hand deliver this child to her on Sunday, I barely have enough to take care of us the next two weeks. Child doesn't want to see mom anymore, he has asked for me to adopt him. She has seen him a total of 17 hrs since Jan. 1. She absolutely refuses to help with anything that makes her have to go out of her way. Coming to see her son is entirely too much work. We are stuck to say the least.

Forum: Custody and Visitation

Summer Vacation

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 18:48:44 GMT

Short story is...Visitation has been changed by mediation b/c mother moved children 2 hours away. We no longer get e/o Wednesdays and only get e/o weekend. This is the first year for summer vacation b/c they are in kindergarden and she is trying to take her two nonconsecutive weeks of vacation over our weekends. Plus she wants our 4th of July. There will be a period this summer that we will not see the children for 25 days. Can she do this?

In addition she is telling us we can't bring the girls to Sunday School and has them brainwashed that they don't like it. Even though they tell us they do when they go.

I really think a judge would see right through her but I an afraid the system is so messed up that if we do bring her to court they won't do anything. Any ideas?

Plus we wanted to bring them to vacation bible school on one of our weeks this summer but she is saying we cant. I want to bring them but dont know if it will be more detrimental to them to have them go and throw a fit b/c she has them brainwashed. Plus the rath they might get when they get home.

Forum: Custody and Visitation

exwife admits she cannot control daughter

Sat, 21 Apr 2012 13:04:45 GMT

My step daughter is flunking out of public school. Her father and I live in another state and have offered for her to come here to go to school. Her mother openly admits she's at her wits end and doesn't know what to do. Her solution is to send her to a boarding school which we do not agree is the only answer. It's $26000.00 a year. We would like a chance to provide the structure she desperately needs. This is a former straight A student who is now flunking out. Everyone involved says she needs structure and limits. They have joint physical custody and it states that both parents must agree to major decisions in the children's education etc but she's trying to bully us into this. They already had an interview with the school without our knowledge. We feel like we're trapped. If we agree, we will have to file bankruptcy to pay for this and if we don't, her mother says we don't care about her and are just being difficult. Any advice?

Forum: New Members Thread

Church Attendance

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 21:08:04 GMT

I have a question regarding my children attending church when they are with me. I have my children 2 out of every 3 Sundays. We began attending church in the town where we live at the beginning of this year. The children's mother lives in a differnt town about 40 miles away. In addition to church, they also attend Sunday School.

To my knowledge, the children do not and have not ever attended church or Sunday school with their mother. They were baptized in the Methodist Church and are members, but do not attend.

My former wife has asked for information regarding the church, which I have provided her as well as the contact information for the Pastor. She reviewed the information and is "not impressed with their teachings".

She is now demanding that I quit taking the children to church until we can meet and talk, however she is not available to talk for quite some time.

My gut says I can continue to take them to my church, but I would welcome any feedback or opinions.

Thanks!

Forum: Custody and Visitation

Temporary Custody Trial in Iowa

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 00:17:17 GMT

I am very concerned that I'm going to lose custody of my two sons (ages 5 and 9) when we have our temporary custody trial in the middle of May. I keep hearing about Iowa being a 'primary care state' which I think it completely unfair to BOTH parents and children.

I have been a loving father ever since they were born - active in their school activities, sports, family, etc. I've had the same stable job for a great company for the past 12 years. I plan to stay in the same area as their school (and their mother).

No criminal record, no history of domestic abuse; nothing.

Problem is, my wife has been keeping a journal for the past five years documenting all of the times I've lost my temper (who doesn't once in a while?) which kind of concerns me.

She's also been the one to take them to the doctor, daycare, etc. because she only works 3.5 days a week and I have a LONG drive to work.

Do I have a shot at getting 50% temporary custody? She's going for the primary care and I'm afraid I'm going to lose and only see my boys 4 overnights a month. . .

Thanks in advance.

Forum: Custody and Visitation

Do I need a lawyer to do everything?

Mon, 09 Apr 2012 18:58:16 GMT

I am currently going through a custody hearing coming up in June. This has been going on for well over a year and my money is running low, so I'm going to try to be my own lawyer. So, to catch everyone up I'm going to do a little back story.

We have two children. Boy, born 3/07 and girl born /409.

April 4th, 2010 a domestic happened. She attacked me. No arrests were made (or else I'd been arrested) and I she got a restraining order against me for 1 year. So temporary custody was granted (I got them every Tues, Thurs, and every other weekend) and everything went as smooth as it could go.

June 2010, I bought my own house and August 2010, she relocated to her parents.

Feb 2011, she relocated to Davenport (but did not tell me) and my visitation was iffy and erratic. She had me pick up the kids from her parents so I couldn't find out where she lived, she changed her phone number, she was breaking the temp. custody order as well. My lawyer said without an address or where she worked we couldn't file against her.

March 2011, I saw/spoke the kids the last time until Aug 2011. She contacted me about seeing the children. She moved to Dubuque in July of 2011.

My lawyer said if I ever was able to have the children, not to give them back because there was no court order since the last one expired in April of 2011. Aug 21, 2011 I went to Dubuque to pick up the kids from the day care and kept them.

Sunday Aug 24th, she came to Muscatine after I texted her that she could not get them without a court order, broke into my house with three guys and literally kidnapped the kids. I called the police and they got her heading out of town and she was arrested for assault and the cops gave me the children back that night. Another non contact order was set up. This time by the Muscatine Police Department against her.

Finally after 5 months of trying, DHS gets involved. Our custody hearing was Aug 12, 2011 and she lied on the stand multiple times and ended up with primary custody starting a few weeks later. DHS didn't found her for child abuse until one week after the hearing.

In November 2011, she did not pick up the children at the time stated in the court order. Instead of Sunday at 6pm she picked them up the next Friday at 3pm. 3 weeks later, I get a contempt of court charges against me. In Jan 2012 I won that hearing and the files were dropped. Once again lying in court about the founded case of child abuse and the NCO against her the police put on. (We had a different judge)

December 2011 she relocated again to Iowa City and again in Feb 2012 back to her parents, the kids live in the same city as me and I don't even know about it. I mean, we have had no contact in nearly a year and her parents won't tell me anything. I live in the same house I have had since we split.

Also, she has a drug paraphanelia charge in Feb 2011. Besides traffic violations. Speeding tickets. My criminal records are completely clean. To top it off, her boyfriend for the last year and new baby's daddy has plead guilty to 7 counts of vehicular manslaughter and other assault charges.

Now our next hearing is set for June 13 and 14 coming up and I can't afford the two day trial for my lawyer. So I want to attempt to go without a lawyer.

He is want I want to get. Transcripts of the earlier two hearings to prove she lied in court. I went to this webpage http://www.iowacourtsonline.org/Representing_Yourself/Civil_Law/Civil_Court_Fees/ but when I go to the courthouse, they gave told me all that's wrong. So I sent an email to the recorders they gave me, but feel I'm getting the run around.

I was subpoenas to get the following information:

Her eldest daughter's (not mine) school records. She lied to the court and the eldest daughter lives with her, but the grandparents have been taking care of her through out all the relocating. I know judges like to keep the kids together, but it's not even happening when all the kids are in her care.

Written police statements from her and the three other guys from the July 24, 2011 incident. She claimed in court those guys came down to Muscatine from Dubuque to cash their checks.

I went down to ask for this information from the courthouse and police station, but they said I need to get a subpoena from a lawyer. Well, I can't afford mine anymore. I'm barely staying afloat. Yes, I pay child support. Can anyone give me any leads to follow or places to look for information where I can pull this off? It's been an uphill battle since the get go and I don't want to lose the chance to get primary care of my children because I don't have the money.

Thanks,

Andrew

Forum: New Members Thread

how do you subpoena

Mon, 09 Apr 2012 13:22:52 GMT

how do you subpoena witnesses if they live in another state (not the state that the case is in). I looked it up but all I find is that someone may or may not have to do this with the state that the witness you want to subpoena lives in. I went to both clerk of courts in both states (counties) and neither place could answer my question. when asking about parts of the subpoena, they tell me they can't give legal advice. Neither court can tell me their procedures because it's legal advice? how could they stamp it if they don't know? Doesn't a judge need to sign it too? I need to get this done but I don't know how to do it on my own and everywhere I look for information (internet, courts). all I know is that copies of these must go to the other parties attorney and that I can't serve them myself, but can someone that is already a witness on my side serve the subpeona? confusing stuff to do without an attorney.

Forum: New Members Thread

Child support ending June 1st. What happens now?

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 01:38:07 GMT

My last child graduates from high school in May and turns 18 June 1st. Do I need to file anything with the court to finalize my order? I am not having the money deducted from my pay. I send the money myself every month to the court house. Second part of my question is: I used Sec 44 598.21F POSTSECONDARY EDUCATION SUBSIDY Section #4 Repudiation by Child to not pay for my other child's college because she refused to acknowledge me or my requests to see her. My child that is now graduating from high school has only been for a visit once in the last 16 months and will acknowledge my calls so I don't know if I can claim the same Code for his college costs? The ex has done a great job over the years keeping my kids from me with excuses their schedules are so busy, can't miss practices, etc...along with the constant brow beating of how bad I am even though I filed on her because of her sleeping around and her moving the kids 4 hours away to prevent me from seeing them every day. I've paid support for over 12 years, well over $100k, didn't file for a reduction after my 1st child turned 18 and it got me nothing. I just want out of the court orders so I can try to start a new relationship with my 1st child and try to get closer to my 2nd. Anyone know if I get a letter from the courts or do I need to file something myself to make sure the order is stopped on June 1st? Any advise would help.

Forum: Child Support

A little humor

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 21:07:47 GMT

the ex receiving child support

The court that orders child support to be paid

The CSRU agents they send after you to collect child support

What they do to you if you can't pay

Just remember who shot first though

Forum: Open Forum

I got my son away from her, now need help to get custody order

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 20:13:49 GMT

Ok i was able to figure out visitation matters but before filing but my sons mom (ex girlfriend) got arrested for domestic assault against her latest boyfriend.. I contacted DHS about the matter and since my son was already with me at the time I didnt have to give him back since paternity/child support order was established but no court ordered custody had been set.

Problem being I cant figure out how to go about getting a custody hearing to get a proper custody order so I can allow her to see him safetly and make sure she cant just take him from school because she has out of state family and if she gets her hands on him she can and will run. Ive done what i can with his new school and all that, but I dont know the forms I need to file with the court house to get the needed hearing to get the proper court order. I have been reading through the pro se section trying to find the correct form but with no luck so far.

Any information on the proper legal form I need to file would be much appreciated as I cant afford an attorney though trying my best.

Thanks.

Forum: Custody and Visitation

Cedar Falls Support Meeting

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 17:13:22 GMT

Effective Immediately:

Our Cedar Falls group meets on the third (3rd) Monday of every month from 6:00 p.m. until around 8:00 p.m. at Prairie Lakes Church, 1907 Viking Road, Cedar Falls, IA 50613 (corner of Viking Road & Hudson Road across from the Target Distribution Center).

Forum: Open Forum